Emissary on the Wall

by Bacopa Literary Review 2021 Prose Poetry contributor Danae Younge

I remember sitting on my living room couch at around 1:00 AM, looking at the ceiling and pockets of space where I might find an idea to craft a poem. That part is always the most painful--the waiting, knowing for certain I am going to create something before being able to sleep but not having any clue what it is. Even after the idea comes to me and I'm in the process of putting it into words, this intense itching feeling persists. I don't think I've ever related more to a sentiment about writing than Dorothy Parker's epiphany, "I hate writing, I love having written."

I had zoned out visually at that point, lost in my own 1:00 AM jumbled mind, when my eyes came back in focus, and I realized I had been staring at the painting of a girl hanging above the mantel for over 5 minutes. Maybe I wasn't completely zoning out. Maybe my subconscious was waiting for my thoughts to catch up. Either way, I identified that silent painting as the cause of my itch and began the process of giving it words.

I was inspired by the idea of contrasting motion with stasis--how things we believe to be crystallized in memory are actually constantly adjusting and evolving to accommodate present day. Many people comment on how the past affects the future, but I wanted to illuminate how this relationship is bidirectional, the moments we admire and observe like paintings are constantly looking back at us, affected by our current realities, emotions, and psyches.

. . . Now I notice how her ears perk up to eavesdrop, the spy, like poison weeping from the vial, like an antidote; every word we giggle into handfuls of midnight, hieroglyphic salt stains that whisper on the couch cushions, the shivers annexed from our minds during sleep.

 

As an undergraduate writer, I am beyond honored to be able to share this piece through such a highly regarded literary journal. As of December 2021, I am published/forthcoming in more than thirty literary magazines around the world. Some recent publications include PINK N♀ISE, published in Rust + Moth Magazine and "Nautilus," published in Perhappened Magazine. To read more of my work, head over to my website and subscribe for free updates.